I’m a grinch when it comes to the holidays. Seriously, I hate the holiday season. The music, the decorations, words like merry & cheer… who needs cheer? Yes, I am Jewish and no I am not jaded. I don’t feel like I missed out on celebrating Christmas. In fact I am really grateful I don’t!  I don’t have to buy excessive gifts & seriously my parents are happy with a sweater or a book or something simple. 

The one thing I do enjoy this time of year is the ridiculous gifts I get from my overseas vendors. Last year I created a blog where I was going to capture all the joy of the gifts we have gotten in years past. I had a few entries and some friends submitted some stuff as well, but I want to add to it this year and that is why I am bringing it here. If you have  any special gifts you’ve gotten, please email me at badholidaygifts@gmail.com and I will post your gift to the site.

An example of a bad gift would be this:

Yes, I really got these as gifts one year.

Also check out the site Bad Holiday Gifts!


KCRW one of the coolest/forward radio stations is offering up a mix of music to download free from iTunes. All you have to do is full out your info here and they send you the link!

Music downloads include songs by:

The Morning After Girls / Part of Your Nature
Fanfarlo / Ghosts
St. Vincent / The Strangers
Headless Heroes / Just Like Honey
Nickodemus / Calle Sol
Black Moth Super Rainbow /  Smile the Day After Today
Sonic Youth / Malibu Gas Station
A Camp / Here Are Many Wild Animals
Iron and Wine / Belated Promise Ring
Zap Mama / Do You Wanna?
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros / 40 Day Dream
Miike Snow / Sans Soleil
Eels / In My Dreams
Bibio / Ambivalence Avenue
Generationals / When They Fight, They Fight
Moby / Pale Horses (Empyrean Dub remix)
Mayer Hawthorne / Maybe So, Maybe No
The Temper Trap / Sweet Disposition
Quantic and His Combo Barbaro / Un Canto a Mi Tierra
Mocky / Birds Of a Feather


9/12/82

Sara began nursery school this morning. Because the 1st class lasted only 1 hour we walked over to the school together. She insisted on bringing a book with her. I figured she’d take a children’s book, but instead she grabbed an adult novel from the bookshelf and brought that along. Though she held my hand tightly she was fine in the classroom – no tears. I had coffee with the other mothers and waited. My presence wasn’t necessary as Sara did fine. When I went to pick her up she was reluctant to leave & I had to “drag” her away from the toys. I carried her home because when I’d try & put her down, she tried to run back the school. Sara told me she played with a truck &  ate peanut butter & smoked cigarettes in nursery school. Later  – when she calmed down she said she played in the kitchen, ate pretzel logs, & drank juice. The “cigarettes” were the pretzel logs. She was just being difficult. Another milestone has been reached.  Three years have flown!


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Subject: Searching for your Starchild?

Message sent: 11/07/2009 05:44 PM

starchild…

40  years old
Washington, DC

With a smile like that who needs an introduction – lets just skip to the alter (-;

My name is Daniel, and it would be a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.

 

What in the hell is a starchild? And let me point out that opening line of his profile says… “Ivy league gradute new to the nation’s capitiol…” I’m sorry, but if I spent all that money on an Ivy League education I would hope I could spell the words graduate, capital, & altar. He also has a shirtless picture up… gag me.


You’d think my parents live in some sort of horder’s paradise with the things I find. The reality is my mom has saved most of these stories & letters (and report cards) in an overstuffed baby book. She even took the time to fill out a number of the pages that have preset questions/themes (though she left the page for Baby’s First Christmas blank).

Here are some of my “Firsts”

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One of My Favourite Photographs of My Father & Me

At 5 months old (sometime in March 1980) my first word was “restaurant”. My mom on asking her about this again claims that the two of them heard it together and laughed so hard. She repeated the word over and over trying to get me to say it, but I didn’t for some time. My first official word was Da-Da (I like restaurant more) in June of ‘80.

This has to be my favourite…

On June 28th, 19080 our baby’s first tooth appeared.  Grandpa Al discovered it when he gave Sara champagne at an anniversary party for Aunt Teddy & Uncle Burt.

Backtrack… Grandpa Al discovered it when he gave Sara champagne. June, 28th 1980! Seriously? It’s no wonder I am only 5′3″! Parents were so much cooler back in the day.

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Apparently the Alchohol Continued to Flow Throughout the Years

On July 4th, 19080 Sara ate dirt for the first time at a Bar-B-Que at the Lambert’s house.

Did my mom really have to document that? And that was the first time? I hope the only time too!

On April 3rd 1981 Sara said her first sentence, “Mommy me pretty!”

Considering restaurant was my first word, that sentence seems pretty weak if I do say so myself!

2/26/80 For the past few weeks Sara has enjoyed keeping a diaper next to her face.

Excuse me? I had my mom clarify this one as well. My mom used cloth diapers in an attempt to be environmentally friendly (albeit briefly). Apparently I liked the clean ones.

2/26/80 Sara loves applesauce.

6/20/80 She likes to chew on Mommy’s Chicklet boxes.

6/20/80 Sara still loves applesauce.

8/11/80 She likes to chew on Mommy’s wallet.

12/7/80 Sara loves books. She likes to look at the pictures and chew on the bindings.

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The Caption in the Photo Album Says "An Early Learner"


One of the beauties in going home to my parents is that I find all sort of relics from my past. I’ve shared some of the letters from my father in past posts, &  now I bring you a series of new stories, letters, &  photos from my past that I really want to just catalog somewhere. Hope you enjoy these as much as I do.

My great Aunt Heni is a mystery to me. Why is she a mystery? Well I haven’t met her. Yes she is blood related & she was the 2nd eldest of the four children in my Grandfather’s family. I really know nothing about her other than she lives in North Carolina, has an oil painting of Jesus one of her children painted for her on her mantle, and she is an astrologer. Yes an astrologer.

Shortly after I was born she sent this letter to my parents:

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aunt heni 20001

The odd thing in reading this now almost 30 years later,  is that so much of it is true.

1. Medicine is favored, but any kind of research will be as good.

I would have love to have become a doctor. I say this all the time. Sadly I wasn’t strong enough in sciences to follow-through with this.  I do love to research things though, even just for personal satisfaction. Really, I sleep with an almanac & atlas on my nightstand.

2. Older people wull seem more interesting than her peers.

While growing up this was very true about me. I’d like to think I get along fine with my peers now, but I still like old people.

3. She will be inclined to impulsive buying or spending, and a willingness to try anything.

Um yeah, I am a girl. I like things.

4. This kid (what did she not know my name?) is shrewd.

I’ve been called shrewd on more than one occasion, but I don’t think that is a bad thing.

5. She will find foreigners & strange lands more exciting then most people.

I love to travel.

OK so there are some of the bits and pieces I pulled.  I really found this extremely interesting. Maybe someday I will meet my Aunt Heni and she can tell me more about myself.


I have very strong feelings about this and after a long LIRR trip I endured tonight that included someone clipping I thought I would share.

November 6, 2009, 10:36 am

Complaint Box | Public Grooming

By Lion Calandra

P.C. Vey

WHEN did grooming become a spectator sport?

When I was growing up, back in the days when the express train beat the local, straphangers were content to pass their time in transit with a good book or a crossword puzzle. Occasionally, I’d encounter the loud talker, the nose-picker or someone who had to free themselves of a wedgie. Hey, we’ve all been there.

That’s old school.

Complaint Box
Fit to Be Tied?

Send your tales of rage and indignation — no more than 500 words, please — to: metropolitan@nytimes.com.

These days, if someone seated near me on my morning ride is putting on makeup, someone else is clipping his fingernails (and, on one odd occasion this summer, a toenail). Or they’re plucking eyebrows, tying ties, squeezing pimples, even spraying perfume. There are those who just have to bathe themselves in lotion. Others are brushing their hair. It’s the full monty, commuter style.

A few months ago, a woman sitting across from me on a westbound Long Island Rail Road train was flossing her teeth. When she finished, she threw the silky, slimy string on the floor.

“Maybe you should do that at home,” I chided.

“Maybe you should mind your own business,” she said.

“Maybe tomorrow you can shave your legs on the train,” I bellowed.

“Whatever,” said Miss Dental Hygiene.

Whatever, indeed. It takes a village idiot.

The flosser was a special case. Most days, I suffer in silence, fearful of setting off one of those “What are you looking at?” confrontations unique to this city.

We’re all strapped for time. If a person cannot manage to keep personal business personal, then it’s time for a major life overhaul. Yes, it’s hard to juggle life’s obligations. But, for the record, I don’t want to see others plucking their eyebrows or flossing their teeth. I hate to see myself doing it. I also don’t want to be in the cloud of cologne wafting through the air by the mad spritzer sitting 20 feet from me. It irks my allergies. It takes only a few extra minutes before bedtime or in the morning to tend to personal hygiene, which becomes much less hygienic when it’s done on the subway seat where some vagrant just spent the night.

Each season, as summer turns to fall, I hope the cooler weather will end the sideshow. While a cold spell puts some public groomers on ice, others will not be deterred. Last week, on a Manhattan-bound F train, I saw a man combing his hair. When he was finished, he pulled the hairs from the teeth of the comb and sprinkled them on the floor like he was seeding a field. And recently, on my way home to Queens, a woman seated near me on the E train decided it was an appropriate place to remove her nail polish.

I blame YouTube. A modern-day Circus Maximus, the video networking site makes a public spectacle of private moments. Compared with watching a stranger give birth or seeing a man you’ve never met faint during his own nuptials, popping open the new deodorant you just bought at Duane Reade and applying it on the platform of the uptown No. 1 train (you know who you are) is tame.

It cannot be too much to ask for some things to stay private. Maybe the Metropolitan Transportation Authority could do a public service campaign.

A line must be drawn. Just not with dental floss, please.

Lion Calandra lives in Kew Gardens, Queens, and is a freelance copy editor for an Internet content provider.


I haven’t posted in awhile ticket dates, but here are a few shows you or someone you know may be interested in checking out…

levonhelm

Levon Helm Band with Okkervil River
Terminal 5
New York, NY
Thu, 01/07/10

On Sale 11/06/09

devendrabanhartb

 

Devendra Banhart
Music Hall of Williamsburg
Brooklyn, NY
Mon, 11/23/09

On Sale 11/06/09

u2

U2 360º Tour
New Meadowlands Stadium
East Rutherford, NJ
Mon, 07/19/10

On Sale 11/09/09

Phantogram will be playing a free show on 12/19 for free @ Brooklyn Bowl. They are new, and old friends and Bob Boilen featured them on his CMJ recap episode.

phantogram_finaledit

Phantogram: MySpace
PHANTOGRAM can be described as a culmination of unique urban influenced rhythms, and psychedelic melodies, with combined technology and organic textures.

Hailing from upstate New York, PHANTOGRAM is the collaboration of artists Josh Carter and Sarah Barthel. Their unique style has garnered many fans of diverse tastes. Their music can be described as a stylish blend of gritty hip hop influenced rhythms combined with psychedelic melodies and hooks. Having a broad sound, it is truly hard to categorize such a band. WIth influences ranging from J Dilla to My Bloody Valentine, PHANTOGRAM efficiently creates a captivating vibe for their audience. Live, they are known to be hypnotically engaging both visually and musically.

 



The milksteak episode killed me. Milk steak boiled over? Full on rapist (translation: Philanthropist)?!?

I laughed so hard I cried. I even made my own milksteaks and raw jelly beans to give out as favours at my birthday party. But this week’s It’s Always Sunny introduced the world to both Kitten Mittons (Charlie’s spelling) & Dick Towel.

Yes, you can really order a dick towel.  These guys and the other writers really are the funniest guys on TV. You need to be watching if you aren’t already.


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If you grew up in the late 80’s/early 90’s and attended Countrywood Elementary School (my alma mater) you were always super excited when the knock-hockey tournament took place. Every year they would set up knock-hockey table after knock-hockey table in the all-purpose room and us kids would sit there and battle it out to 7 to move on to the next level. I practiced at home tirelessly in hopes to make my way to the top of the pack. I remember one year getting pretty far in the competition, but years have passed and memories are a bit fuzzy. Though my love for knock-hockey is still there and anyone who’d be interested  in a game should contact me.

When I came across the listing for the Connect 4 Tournament at the Bell House I couldn’t help, but get excited a bit. Real adults competing for real prizes!  FREE “Connect Four” Vodka drinks from 7pm – 8pm on night one! Well drinks & select pints are only $4 from 7pm on. Big cash prizes for the winner plus bar tabs, gift certificates, board games, and all kinds of fun for the runners-up.

Check out here for more info. This event will be taking place over the next four Tuesdays.


Subject: HI

Message sent: 04/21/2008 05:56 AM

ריקוD4B3

53  years old
Asfar, Israel

My name is Riko.
Although my profile says that I am in Israel, I Iive in Queens, NY. I saw your profile and photo and I think you are very beautiful.
I am divorce – Six years ago, I was married for 3 months, and because it was such a short period of time, I still don’t know what a real marriage is.
I am a very funny guy. I love life and love to laugh. I am not here for games, but here to meet a real woman. I would love the opportunity to get to know a little more about you and if interested would love to tell you more about myself. If you would like to talk more or exchange numbers, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks,
Riko



Subject: Goddess?

Message sent: 04/20/2008 06:05 PM

TerriblyT…

33  years old
New York, NY

Anyone ever tell you that you are a Jewish Goddess?

Subject: IM Messages You Missed!

Message sent: 04/06/2008 09:23 PM

PoeticMal…

32  years old
Rego Park, NY

you’d look great with kids

Subject: IM Messages You Missed!

Message sent: 04/01/2008 09:02 PM

Bahaus198

28  years old
New York, NY

Its so hard pimpin’ in the O-C-D when you’re Snoop D-O Double G . Do you dig what I’m sayin’,homegirl?

Subject: WILD THING…

Message sent: 10/23/2008 12:45 PM

Ask me for my photo

KEITH47

39  years old
Brooklyn, NY

You make my heart sing…You make everything…:)

So listen, I figure we can elope and then have a small wedding for our nearest and dearest…:)

Very Smitten,
Keith

Subject: Flirt

Message sent: 04/12/2009 01:14 PM

DharmaIni…

33  years old
New York, NY

You’re the one that I want, one that I want…. ooo, ooo, oooo, honey. Pleeez, write back to me!

 

 

 


Who the hell writes these flirts?

Subject: Flirt

Message sent: 08/06/2008 05:27 AM

lobsterhu…

45  years old
New York, NY

The voices in my head say you could be ‘The One’ – do you hear them, too?

Subject: Flirt

Message sent: 04/04/2008 02:55 PM

pja132

27  years old
New York, NY

Judging your book by its cover, I’d love to curl up and read the rest.

Subject: Flirt

Message sent: 08/04/2008 05:08 PM

pato235

32  years old
Rosslyn, VA

Your smile lights up my screen. Want to know what your eyes do?

Subject: Flirt

Message sent: 08/02/2008 06:16 PM

imPeterN

29  years old
New York, NY

All your imperfections are perfect for me.


chicagoI

 don’t drive very often being that I live in the city. Whenever I am at my parents and driving around town I am usually plagued and pained by the sound of the awful radio. We’re not talking back hills of South Dakota, we are talking 45 minutes out of NYC. So I scan the stations and without fail Chicago’s You’re the Inspiration is always playing somewhere.

So tonight I was getting a manicure and with the crap radio playing  in the salon this song came on again. My question is why? Is this song still popular? Are the rights to it cheaper than shit? Why is this song still always on and why do I get stuck hearing it???

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I want you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You’re always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul, Baby

(Chorus)
You’re the meaning in my life
You’re the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You’re the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin’
No one needs you more than I need you

And I know, yes I know that it’s plain to see
We’re so in love when we’re together
Now I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
Always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul

(Repeat Chorus)

Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin’
No one needs you more than i need you
You’re the meaning in my life

You’re the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You’re the inspiration
When you love somebody ’til the end of time
When you love somebody
always on my mind
No one needs you more than I.
When you love somebody ’til the end of time
When you love somebody
always on my mind
I need you…


I am beyond excited to be seeing Blind Pilot perform next month at Bowery Ballroom. On their last few trips to NYC I have either been out-of-town or not been able to make their shows. I really LOVE their album 3 Rounds and a Sound and have told everyone I know looking to hear solid good music to listen to them.

So I pose this question again…

why is he?

john-mayer-face

a more popular recording artist then them?

BlindPilot2

Ok, maybe this is just personal opinion again, but looks alone Israel & Ryan have him beat.

blindpilot

Blind Pilot rode bikes for their 2008 tour. Yes, they rode bikes! No, we’re not talking Harley’s we are talking bicycles from Washington all the way down to San Diego. They carried their instruments on custom bicycle trailers they made themselves. Talk about resourceful & green!

John Mayer rides around in a giant gas guzzling SUV leaving a serious carbon footprint.

080605-mayer

John play the guitar, keyboard, & mandolin.

Blind Pilot is guitar and drums. Simple & easy (with of course some backing musicians)

John is the fodder of many tabloid articles.

Most people haven’t heard of Blind Pilot! What are you waiting for, check them out!

So there you have it folks.  They are playing November and they are good and the tickets are cheap so check them out. I promise you won’t be disappointed!

You can check them out on Vimeo (these are great!)

or download some of their stuff for free over at Daytrotter


How would you respond to this???

Subject: A mutual lust for life

Message sent: 03/31/2008 04:47 PM

WhoTookTh…

30  years old
New York, NY

Hi there.

At the self-acknowledged risk of potentially sounding trite and corny, you are positively stunning. Plus it seems that we have plenty of shared interests and the ripe potential for natural compatibility. (Interestingly, I sometimes consider — or more accurately, half-consider — quitting classical music composition and going to med school or going to the fields to grow organic veggies).

So, I have a question for you, a getting-to-know-you non-sequitur if you’re willing: I just picked up Umberto Eco’s “On Ugliness”, which is a history of ugliness. This is the sequel to Eco’s earlier book titled “The History of Beauty”. If you could only choose one, which would you choose to read?

Excited to learn more about you,
Jonathan


I signed online and immediately received a chat request from a 47 year old man. I declined and received this message.

Subject: IM Messages You Missed!

Message sent: 10/19/2009 07:46 PM

xxxxx5174 47  years old
New York, NY

hey, good evening…… how was the weekend? declined, ouch….now that still stings…..well, either way, i hope you had a really nice weekend……i soo look forward to you having a change of heart……you seem quite sweet and bright and have a really nice smile…..hope all is well, and if you do give us/me a chance, you will be pleasantly surprised, sincerely, Nathaniel

Another one of my favorites is when I receive messages from people in other countries.

Subject: קריצה

Message sent: 05/24/2009 05:12 PM

ErezAvita… 29  years old
Jerusalem, Israel

החלטתי לעשות את הצעד הראשון.

I mean how the hell am I supposed to understand that?


And this guy was just too forward… and old!

Subject: hi

Message sent: 08/11/2008 09:10 PM

newesm 49  years old
New York, NY

Hi. I’m new to this but I was immediately attracted to your photo and felt compelled to respond after reading your profile. How about taking this off line? What’s your phone number? Looking forward…
Philip


cmj09logo1

Don’t miss out on checking out some of the new up & coming bands who will be performing right here in NYC. Check out the CMJ website or Oh My Rockness for more info for complete lineups and ticket info. General admission badges are on sale through 6pm today here.

CMJ is filled with new artists and ones we know & love. This year will feature performances by Deer Tick, Takka Takka, School of Seven Bells, Ted Leo & the Pharmacists, & more!